blog page 4
6/14/2024 12:08pm
lately i kind o f have been extremely torn up
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here' s your fair warning! i will be posting about cutting myself on this page. if you're afraid to see that kind of stuff there's no shame i n that!
in the mean time. i'll explain some things about my website i guess. i don't want to capitalize anything. and i don't think that rhetorically i would need to capitalize anything to give this some greater structure or emphasis. for me, i want emphasis to come from specific words and phrases that catch th e eyes. i want to draw you in with the occasional use of an exclamation point. i would also rather never use any boldlettering or anything along those lines. that being said, i don't take as much of an issue with italics, but i don't want them anywhere near the body of any particular post. italics belong int he titles. that's it.
today is not tha t bad!! i sometimes have way worse days. maybe it isn't fair, but i don't care if i get noticed by person a or b or c. i only care in any given moment about one person in particular. that's how lifei s for me. and it sucks because i wish that it were as easy as "person a.. they are okay for now. this person is good enough that my feelings on this matter are settled. thank you for the comfort person a.' if it were that simple i wouldn't want to hurt myself ever. the issue is that in the same sense that person a might 'not be enough' right now, that i'm not ever enough for the person who i want to notice me. you can be upset at me for being unfair, and i get it. i just can't stop myself from feeling this way about specific people.
yes, it's unhealthy, but i don't thin k it's totally unreasonable.
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ahh. . today we need to finish with multiple pages most likely. the directory on the home page and one gallery seem to work very well and i'm happy about them so far. we'll make a new gallery today just for edits my ffxiv gposes. ..
this is taking me too much time
6/15/2024
i'm sad. she always leaves. not only this.. other people just don't even seem to notice. maybe i'm selfish it just feels meaningless without.
i hope that somehow i can jus t damage things the right amount. i wish i cut deeper.
from sage rosabell. i'm sorry. sage rosabell | bandcamp